Friday Night Mama

So it's 6:30 on Friday night and I'm able to sit down finally and write while the baby is napping, the boy is eating dinner and the adult dinner is in the oven. I've got my 2nd coffee of the afternoon next to me, my hair is in a greasy ponytail, I'm wearing workout clothes but haven't worked out and I'm a little smelly and due for a shower. Let's be honest, this is the #MamaLook.

Maybe she's born with it...

Maybe she's a mom!

This is pretty standard and even more so this week as it was winter break for the boy so I had both kids 24/7 all week. I have really enjoyed my time home thus far, but I will tell you it's been a different routine for sure. To expect anything different after having a baby is just naive!

<Insert time out to go get the baby who just woke up>

Well an hour later and the homecoming of the hubby, I'm back at the blog. I've got the tiny human (baby) beside me and the hubby is playing Star Wars with the little human (the boy).

I've got a month left of leave and it feels like there is still so much that I want to do to take advantage of my time home with my kids. I knew that prior to my leave, my time at home with the little human was not what I wanted. I wanted more and was trying to work on a way to balance career and being a parent. Now with the tiny human here, my time with my kids is even more divided due to their different needs due to their age difference. But I'm concerned that when I go back to work, it's going to be rough, How do I balance an infant, a 1st grader, a husband (aka the big kid), my career, my home and of course me!?

This time last year I was focusing on being a better me. Mainly physically, I wanted to feel better about me physically to help me emotionally. I lost weight and became more active with fitness. I really began to feel better about myself and that led into my change to become a more positive person and what I saw as a better person. I believe it helped us to create (along with science and the lovely process that is fertility treatments) our tiny human.

Now it's time to get back on it while balancing my new life in mommyhood. And the timing couldn't be better to correlate it with the New Year. So many people set up resolutions, I just want to get back to being a healthier me again but I don't want it to interfere with being the mom my tiny and little human need. I think there is a balance I can find, it will just be how long will it take to find it!

So here it is, instead of starting it on January 1st, I'm starting December 31st so that is isn't about a new year, its about me. Will there be bad days, of course.... I'll want to yell, scream and eat a freaking bakers dozen donuts, but I will be happy, healthy and me.

So here is to the balance. It's not a new me, it's not an improved me. It's a changed me, because change is inevitable and necessary. If you don't change, adapt and improve then you are only hurting yourself.

Morning rituals, how they have changed!

I've generally always been an early riser most of my adult life. I hate to waste daylight and obviously having kids makes being up early in the morning a steady occurrence. 

Before we got pregnant with our daughter, I found the only available time for me to work out was early in the morning before my son and husband got up because it was me time and it didn't conflict with family time which I deem very important. 

Now it hasn't changed too much with our newborn here, but this morning got me thinking about how my rituals have changed and how I've changed with them. This morning I woke up around 1am to change over baby duties with my husband. We worked on a pattern where I head to bed early, get a few solid hours of sleep while he has the baby. I take the early morning times so that he can get sleep before heading into work. 

Our daughter is pretty consistent with sleeping for 2-2.5 hours at a time so by the time I got her fed and into a sleep on my chest (we are introducing crib sleeping currently but sometimes late at night her and I want snuggle/skin to skin time) it was @ 2:30am. She slept until 4:45am and we woke again to feed. Getting her fed and asleep isn't a problem, it's her filling her tank to stay asleep right now that takes some time. I brought her to her crib at 5:30am and currently that's where she still is, sleeping like the angel she is.

Now I spewed all that because I would say normally it would make sense to crawl back in bed and sleep a bitmore, however, my mindset has changed in being a mom for the last 6+ years that there are things to prepare to make the day successful. So at 6am on my Thursday morning, I grabbed a cup of coffee, let the dogs outside and began pumping to work on our reserve of breast milk. Add in a little dish washing and some general tidying up of the living room, I also began to think about what I needed to do to prep my son for his day ahead at school and thought about packing a lunch for my husband.

I know many moms out there can relate to the cluster thoughts that happen not just in the morning but all day long. No wonder we need mommy free weekends or a little time off sometimes! But I'm not going to complain at all. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but I also recognize that I have an amazing partner to be there with me. We communicate and learn from every experience we go through. 7+ years together, 2 kiddos and 5 different addresses, we have built a strong foundation and grow stronger.

Nothing like a morning rambling session and a cup of coffee (and probably a little sleep deprivation) to get someone thinking and talking!