Friday Night Mama

So it's 6:30 on Friday night and I'm able to sit down finally and write while the baby is napping, the boy is eating dinner and the adult dinner is in the oven. I've got my 2nd coffee of the afternoon next to me, my hair is in a greasy ponytail, I'm wearing workout clothes but haven't worked out and I'm a little smelly and due for a shower. Let's be honest, this is the #MamaLook.

Maybe she's born with it...

Maybe she's a mom!

This is pretty standard and even more so this week as it was winter break for the boy so I had both kids 24/7 all week. I have really enjoyed my time home thus far, but I will tell you it's been a different routine for sure. To expect anything different after having a baby is just naive!

<Insert time out to go get the baby who just woke up>

Well an hour later and the homecoming of the hubby, I'm back at the blog. I've got the tiny human (baby) beside me and the hubby is playing Star Wars with the little human (the boy).

I've got a month left of leave and it feels like there is still so much that I want to do to take advantage of my time home with my kids. I knew that prior to my leave, my time at home with the little human was not what I wanted. I wanted more and was trying to work on a way to balance career and being a parent. Now with the tiny human here, my time with my kids is even more divided due to their different needs due to their age difference. But I'm concerned that when I go back to work, it's going to be rough, How do I balance an infant, a 1st grader, a husband (aka the big kid), my career, my home and of course me!?

This time last year I was focusing on being a better me. Mainly physically, I wanted to feel better about me physically to help me emotionally. I lost weight and became more active with fitness. I really began to feel better about myself and that led into my change to become a more positive person and what I saw as a better person. I believe it helped us to create (along with science and the lovely process that is fertility treatments) our tiny human.

Now it's time to get back on it while balancing my new life in mommyhood. And the timing couldn't be better to correlate it with the New Year. So many people set up resolutions, I just want to get back to being a healthier me again but I don't want it to interfere with being the mom my tiny and little human need. I think there is a balance I can find, it will just be how long will it take to find it!

So here it is, instead of starting it on January 1st, I'm starting December 31st so that is isn't about a new year, its about me. Will there be bad days, of course.... I'll want to yell, scream and eat a freaking bakers dozen donuts, but I will be happy, healthy and me.

So here is to the balance. It's not a new me, it's not an improved me. It's a changed me, because change is inevitable and necessary. If you don't change, adapt and improve then you are only hurting yourself.