They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit, for me I feel like it’s longer when it comes to something that is good for me. Case in point, I was in a deep state of anxiety and perhaps looming depression while my husband and I were trying to conceive our daughter over 3 years ago. We had gone through 2 miscarriages, 1 required surgical interference. We were struggling and I did what I do and began to house all my anger and other feelings inside to pile up into a big ole ticking time bomb.
The thing I realized at that point though, was I needed to get that out if I was going to make it through this time. So, journaling became my outlet. I did well with it but soon after my daughter was born, I stopped. Why? Why did I change a positive habit after I got what I wanted? Seems dumb looking back on it right? It was helping me through a tough time. How about continuing a positive habit to be a preventative measure rather than a reactive measure?
Well enough with being dramatic over the past... bottom line, I’m back to doing a journal via this blog and may dip into Vlog stuff too. Life doesn’t stop throwing challenges at you, bad things still happen, good things still happen. So let’s bring back a constant to help us deal with life.
There has been a lot that has happened since I last wrote so I’m just reflecting on the highlights quickly to capture some thoughts.
- Job changes: My husband and I both have changed jobs since 2017. My husband switched from Automotive to Forklift Tech. He no longer deals with the difficulties that comes with the automotive field, works almost as his own boss to work out of his work van and deal with his own set of customers. Most days I’d say he loves that change, but winters here are tough. Working outdoors is something that happens frequently, the typical corporate challenges add a new stress for him and his body isn’t as young as he used to be and things hurt. It was a good change and one I know he will be proud of in the long run. I myself changed from one company to another and loved the new company but began to be unhappy dealing with adults who acted like children. So after 12 years with one company and 1 1/2 years at another, I left the finance world all together and decided to stay home with my kids and open a daycare.
- Relationship Challenges: when it came to friendships and some family relationships, it was time to say goodbye. When I finally realized there was no way I could continue on with certain people in my life, a weight lifted from me. I no longer wanted negative, selfish and confused relationships in my life, I developed the confidence to say goodbye. To say no is empowering, to say goodbye is freeing. Once I got over the loss physically, the mental aspect became the next step. When I look back on the drama I’ve walked away from, good lord it’s been such a positive impact on my life!
- Home improvements: We have worked so hard to be homeowners and with that, we do so much to our home to make it beautiful, our oasis and a place our kids and others can seek out as a place of refuge and healing. From landscaping to new floors, to our most recent upgrades of repainting the kitchen, new windows and in the next few days new kitchen appliances. Adulting! It’s the new fun thing every 30-something is doing LOL
- The kids: what can I say, they make my world go round and round. My oldest is in TaeKwonDo and Football. This past fall he did flag football and wants to do tackle next year. As a mom, I don’t know that I’m ready to deal with tackle and my boy but if he enjoys the game, it gives him an experience that only team sports can, then I’m going to grit my teeth and be the best football mom he could possibly have. My youngest is exploring life and testing boundaries. She started soccer (a 45 minute weekly class that tough skills and let me have coffee without her jumping on me session) and liked it well enough to want to go back each week. She is adjusting to sharing her home with other kids and continues to be my little rainbow baby that I will have a very special bond with. Both of my children have special places in my heart for their independence, their mannerisms, their challenges and most importantly the bond only a mother and child have together.
Well that’s it for now. So many specific topics I could cover but there are plenty of days ahead to go into it all. Because this will be a long term habit that I will do!
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