Positive Motions

So things are going well. The waiting game is still the waiting game, and honestly I'm not going to post any results right now whether positive or negative as I'm not ready yet to say and it is still as stated the waiting game with more tests scheduled. ;)

Instead, this Friday's post is about being positive. I changed my approach on things a while back, where I used to allow drama into my life and thought that I needed to be involved in other people's drama because I wanted to be in the know. I wanted to help them. I've always had the mediator sense in me and I like to offer my two cents. Perhaps as they say, that is the Virgo in me, natural born leaders, know it alls, etc. But I never realized just how toxic that can really be.

Whether it was age, maturity or just a realization, I found that it was hurting me. Not only me, it was toxic to my family, my marriage, my friendships. So I made the executive choice to remove myself from it. I reviewed my lifestyle and changed the physical and emotional aspect of how I was treating myself:

1. Eat better

2. Exercise more

3. Reduce stress

4. Focus on family

5. Focus on friendships

6. Focus on being a leader

These 6 items became my goals. Now they are pretty vague, but being the person I am, I needed to build on them and develop SMART goals around them so for your reading pleasure, here is my breakdown on them with some background on what the problem was and how I chose to fix it.

Eat Better

Pretty simple right. I found that I was an emotional eater. When I was stressed, bored or being social, I was not eating healthy nor in good quantity. I married a garbage disposal with a great metabolism. Luckily for my son, he too got those genes and they probably will never have to worry about being short and round like me. However, this means to feed them, we rest on a lot of carbohydrates and snacks. Those don't mix well for me, at least not the ones they want in the house. Now there was also an opportunity for the entire house to eat healthier, so this was a family experience as well. 

I had been approached by a college softball teammate of mine in regards to a healthy lifestyle program she was a part of, and at the time she first approached me, I was not interested as I was concerned with the cost and that it could have been a pyramid scheme. (Sorry M!) A year later, almost to the date, I reached back out to her. I was ready to hear about it. I made it clear that I didn't want to sell the product, I was just interested in being healthier. So I got started on the Isagenix program in November 2015. After my first 30 days, I was down 20 lbs and 20 inches. The program truly helped me reset my body to take in healthier foods that didn't promote fat, but proteins and natural goodness that allows my body to process more efficiently.  This continues to take place today. I'm not on the strict diet currently, but the program has taught me to look at what I'm putting into my body but still enjoy a burger every once in a while.

Exercise More

I was an active athlete through my childhood, high school and college. Playing volleyball, basketball, softball and riding horses. You could always find me outside playing something. I never was big into actual exercise though. I didn't wake up each morning and go for a run, jump on a bike or take up a class. 

So when I got done with college my daily source of "exercise" was done too.  I had bought a Fitbit earlier last year and was using it sporadically. When I started the program, I made it my mission to hit 10,000+ steps everyday. It was going well, but I needed inspiration. I needed competition. 

So I found all my friends who had a Fitbit and linked up with them as friends on the Dashboard and started weekly challenges. If we didn't have a challenge, I would look at my friends list to see where I ranked to them and made sure I was doing all that I could to be at the top. This worked for me being the competitive person that I am, but I also found that I had some like minded friends and we were able to cheer each other on and help each other meet our goals! Find your motivation and it will drive results!

Reduce Stress

Now this was the one that took all my goals and wrapped it up. In improving goals 1,2,4,5 & 6, this would naturally have a positive impact. However, I found that there were certain relationships, certain organizations and certain actions that were adding undue stress to me. I needed to find a way to get rid of it. Naturally there are people in your life that will frustrate you but they are still good people that have good intentions. I most certainly had them! I love them, but if I saw one more Facebook post about their negativity or first world problems, it was going to drive me nuts. So, one of the steps I took was to review my social media functions. I didn't need others to bring me down. Unnecessary drama as I've mentioned. I didn't want to end my friendship, but I didn't need to see their posts. So the lovely feature of "Unfollow" became a heavily used function. Other functions that became my friend, the delete comment button. I changed the way I posted on social media, only positive items, never complaints. So if someone chose to make a comment on my post that upset me or wasn't appropriate, DELETE! It was lovely! Social media has become such a downer so I chose to make my items positive. It was my way of adding some good flavor to the world.

I was heavily involved in an organization that catered to young adults and their impact to the community in which they lived. The mission of the organization is amazing and the impact they can make drove my ambitions to be a positive influence in the world. It was amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Unfortunately there were some changes (led by the aforementioned certain relationships) that made me need to leave. The treatment of volunteers, of my help and the lack of respect drove me to leave the local level. We have become a society that does things only for the recognition and that wasn't the route I was on nor wanted to be a part of. My stance remains, love the mission, hate the politics.

Focus on Family

My family is my life. For many years they followed me and supported me in my adventures. It was time for me to now support theirs while making some of our own together. Mainly this centers around my son. He is turning 6 in April and went through so many changes over the last year. My husband and I were very involved in community service and our son tagged along for most of it. He also got quality time with grandparents, but he was missing mom and dad time. Along with that, he was starting kindergarten and exploring new social interactions. I needed to focus on him more. There were some struggles in starting kindergarten and my time needed to be there for him to assist him. 

My husband and I were trying to have another baby and between all the life stresses and secondary infertility issues, we were losing who we were as a couple. It was time to make more time for this immediate family. And that was the point: MAKE TIME!

Focus on Friendships

It was time to really cultivate my friendships that were a two way street. There is a lot of give an take in relationships, sometimes it feels like you give more. But if you really look into that relationship and see that you are the only giver, then it's not worth continuing. I found that the changes I made with social media, helped quite a bit. I don't consider a meaningful conversation with a friend something that starts with, "did you see what I posted on Facebook?"  

Let's talk about the positive things in your life or be willing to talk about how to fix the challenges you are currently facing. If you only want to complain, that's not going to change the situation. Let's come up with solutions. It's the friends that want to better themselves, better you and better the world that I wanted in my life. And that's what I did!

Focus on being a Leader

 I wanted to become a better leader. Where every other goal has had lengthy writing, this one can purely be described by this: