The Waiting Game

Waiting. Waiting seems to be the name of the game these days. Wait for the new cycle to start, wait for the right size, wait for the medicine, wait for the test. Waiting. At times I wish I could revert to my younger self and throw a temper tantrum, however, composure is also been a nice little life lesson for me.

Granted this is my first round of meds and ICI/IUI, I can't help but feel that I don't know how well I'll take a let down of a negative test. I know many people have been struggling for a longer time and have more complicated issues, but I have to say, the pain I feel in having failed attempts is still real. It still hurts and that is just the truth of it all.








Being loaded up on meds for the last two weeks and the fact that I'm either pregnant or about to start a new cycle, my emotions are all over the board. I'm not sure if I want to laugh, cry or run around like a maniac! I've got it in my head right now that the signs I've experienced aren't real and that I should prepare myself for a negative test and focus on regrouping myself to get ready for another round. Being emotionally ready for that announcement from the clinic is proving to be one of the largest challenges thus far.

 This is the time that I need to remind myself that I have many blessing already and that I need to reflect on them to remain positive and confident that we will get our miracle.